November 4th 2012
My groups’ topic was Children. Since it was a pretty broad
topic we decided to break it down into different categories or ideas we could
come up with that involve the subject of children. I chose to talk about
adoption because I think it is an important topic and also because I was
adopted myself.
Adoption is a very emotional process.
The during and after are a part of that. There is a lot of time and effort and
emotions that go into the process. Not only does it take a lot of logistical
planning, but it also takes a toll on the parents who are involved in the
process. The parents have to be prepared for the possibility that even after a
long time of trying to adopt, it could never happen. And in other cases the
parents could get very lucky and get a child. Adoption brings a mix of
different emotions for both the parents and the child. For instance, if a
family whose parents have one or more birth children and then decide to adopt a
child, that child might wonder why his/her own birth parents didn’t want him.
For the parents, they might not know how to tell their child that they were
adopted. Some parents even decide not to tell them and let the child figure it
out on their own somehow. Personally I think that’s a really bad idea. If the
child finds out that their parents have been hiding such important information
from them, they might never forgive them for it. Adoption can be a tricky
subject for some people and some families just might not know how to talk about
it.
I think it's sad people think one should not adopt. There is an alarming group of kids out there who need homes, who cares if they are not your biological child, they need love too.
ReplyDeleteChaline
So how does family go about telling their child that they have been adopted? Also what are some of the mixed emotions that go into the process of adoption?
ReplyDeleteI am very for adoption, and think it works for some people.
Thank you,
Rosie
This comment has been removed by the author.
DeleteI personally feel that adoption is a great thing because there are so many adults that want to be parents but cant have children and so many children that need parents. I was wondering what are the different ways to tell your child that they are adopted and how to tell the other children in your family if you have any? Is there a certain age that is better to tell them?
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
DeleteHi Rosie and Jessica,
ReplyDeleteThe question of when and how to tell a child about their adoption is one that will definitely merit drastically different responses depending upon who you ask. Most child psychologists tend to agree, however, that earlier is always better. Not only does this serve to give the child a solid understanding of their adoption from a young age, but it is also suggested that it also helps the parents get used to the concept of the adoption themselves. While adoption can be a beautiful thing, explaining it to others may prove difficult – by having the discussion at an early stage, parents can alleviate some of the accompanying stress (“Adoptive Families,” 2012). The flipside of this however is that conversations should be kept age-appropriate. Susan Fisher, a clinical professor at the University of Chicago, states that many children begin asking questions such as “Was I in your tummy?” around the age of three and a half or four – while every detail of their adoption doesn’t need to be answered at that point in time, it’s also important to not lie to the child and say the he or she is your biological child when they are not. Instead, Fisher suggests the use of storytelling to explain how the child came to be your son or daughter (“Adoptive Families”).
I typed out a huge paragraph in response to this blog entry, and then when I hit "publish" it asked me to sign into google and it was lost forever. SO FRUSTRATING!
ReplyDeleteAnyways, adoption rules. In this day and age, I consider it imperative for adults who wish to become parents to consider it just as much as they would consider having a child of their own. There are far too many children in the world today just waiting for a family to love them. I have a lot of respect for people who go through leaps and hurtles in order to make a difference in a child's life like that, especially when they are completely capable of producing a child on their own, but choose to adopt instead/as well.
personally I think it is better to have the conversation as early as possible even if the children are really young. they are able to take in and retain information which will help them remember whatever the parents tell them. I know there are some parents out there who ponder the idea even whether to tell their child that they were adopted or not. that is a big red flag. that shouldn't even cross a parents mind. the child needs to know one way or another if they were adopted. and if you don't tell them there's a good chance it will create a life long rift between the child and parent.
ReplyDeleteso yeah telling the child as early as possible is the best bet.
-Anjali Lappin
some families I think have different ways of having the conversation. some families think have one long drawn out conversation where they explain everything that happened, and in other cases it could be that the parents just sort of keep reminding their children where they came from so it sticks with them. I think that it is very hard for some families to have the discussion with their children about how they were adopted, especially if they have other children that are not adopted, and how they go about explaining why they were adopted and not the other children. I know for me and my family it was easy for my parents to tell me that I was adopted. I don't quite remember how they talked to me about it, but I do know they started talking to me about it at a very young age.
ReplyDeleteI guess some of the mixed emotions in the adoption process could be whether the parents succeed at finding a child or not. if they don't they most likely have feelings of almost heartbreak because they had their hearts set on it, and if that was there only way of getting a child then it can be really hard.
-Anjali Lappin