Divorce: How does it affect children?

 

Divorce: How does it affect children?

For many people, a family is considered “a stable, organically integrated "factory" in which human personalities are formed” (Parsons and Bales 1955). What happens when the stability shifts? In America, the average rate of divorce is 50%, meaning half of all marriages will end. As a result, about 1 out of 2 children will be affected by divorce in their lifetime. This is a staggering statistic that has prompted a wide variety of studies and research. Despite a desire for the “best” home life, divorce is not always the best answer. Amato and Booth have found the worst scenarios for children to be in are, a high conflict marriage that does not end in divorce, or a low conflict marriage that does end in divorce (Amato and Booth 2012). For example, this chart shows the various effects that children of divorce may encounter and how they are personally affected:

           

The toll of divorce depends on the age of the child. The average elementary aged child may regress in development and become more dependent on their parents. A divorce also evokes a common fantasy for a child that their parents will reconcile and eventually end up together again. Divorce is a hard concept for young children to comprehend and their desire for a whole family exhibits the loyalty they have for each parent. In a survey conducted by Kinard and Reinherz (1984, 1986), elementary school children were observed in three different family situations (never-disrupted; disrupted prior to starting school; and recently disrupted) and found that children in recently disrupted families suffered pronounced and multidimensional effects: problems in attentiveness at school, lowered academic achievement, withdrawal, dependency, and hostility.” Research shows that on average it takes about six months to a year for a child to move through the post divorce adjustment process, although from time to time various emotions related to the divorce may creep up (American Academy of Pediatrics 2004). In order to insure that children will recover from the shift of a divorce, young children need routine, ritual, and reassurance (Pickhardt 2011). 

On the opposite side of the spectrum, adolescents tend to become more aggressive and rebellious in the face of a divorce. They become more defiant and try to exhibit independence because they may feel that their parents are no longer reliable. Instead of depending on their parents for support and comfort, adolescents often turn to friends for connection and understanding. If they are old enough to comprehend the significance of a divorce, adolescents may be plagued with symptoms such as “depression, fear of commitment, or behavioral problems“ (Seccombe 2012). Adolescents may choose to act out a grievance towards their parents, instead of feeling grief like a child. This creates an even bigger rift in family connection, as self-interest becomes the number one concern for a young adult. In order to reduce the chances of separation, some adolescents may respond positively to more responsibility in the house.

Despite all of the negative connotations of divorce, there are some positive effects that children may experience in the midst of a parental separation. Being raised in a single parent family may increase the likely-hood that a child may exhibit more androgynous behavior, which can be seen as a positive trait (Demo and Acock 1988). Research also shows that siblings tend to grow closer through divorce. (American Academy of Pediatrics 2004). They are experiencing the same family conflicts, so they bond by adapting to their new roles in the family. They learn to support each other in various ways that most children don’t in marriages that are still stable. Children also learn to increase their independence after a divorce and can quite often develop their own internal locus of control. In addition to positive affects, it is show that “children’s adjustment following a divorce has more to do with the quality of the parent-child relationship than with the gender and age of the child.” (Temke 2006).

Sources:

Pickhardt, C. (2011, December 19). The impact of divorce on young children and

adolescents. Retrieved from http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/surviving-your-childs-adolescence/201112/the-impact-divorce-young-children-and-adolescents

Douglas, E. (2006, May). The effects of divorce on children.

University of new hampshire cooperative extension. Retrieved from

http://extension.unh.edu/family/documents/divorce.pdf

Schor, E. L. (19/M). Life after divorce. Healthychildren. Retrieved from http://www.healthychildren.org/English/family-life/family-dynamics/types-of-families/pages/Life-After-Divorce.aspx?nfstatus=401&nftoken=00000000-0000-0000-0000-000000000000&nfstatusdescription=

Demo, D., & Acock, A. (1988). The impact of divorce on children. Retrieved from http://libres.uncg.edu/ir/uncg/f/D_Demo_Impact_1988.pdf  
Seccombe, K. (2012). Families and their social worlds. (2nd ed.). Boston: Pearson.

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